Regrets
by vocalcripple
Summary: just a little something i wrote after seeing Michael..


I probably have a lot of errors in this, I didn't really go over it that well. I just wrote this after seeing the new episode and kdjf;alskdjf so I just had to write this. Yeah. Despite the ending of this fic.. well… I actually love Seb a lot, he's one of my favorites.

I was also kind of inspired by grant's CSI episode!

Anyway, I hope you like it!

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><p>Sebastian had been in and out of the hospital for a couple of days now. He wanted to visit Blaine, to tell him how incredibly <em>sorry<em> he was, but he couldn't. Not with Kurt or any of the other glee clubbers hanging around. It hit him hard—seeing Blaine in pain had horrified him. He didn't mean to cause Blaine any harm at all.

Sebastian had never anticipated Blaine's bravery to jump in front of that slushie for Kurt. It felt like a bullet through his heart, because deep down he knew he probably could never get the love and attention he wanted from this one boy. It bothered Sebastian for days; he couldn't bring himself to leave his dorm back at Dalton unless it was for warbler practice or class. He was a little quieter, but still displayed his cocky attitude when he was questioned.

He couldn't let anyone know how _broken_ he was.

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><p>Sebastian finally got around to visiting Blaine when he was finally discharged from the hospital. He managed to get Blaine's address from Nick, who seemed to look past Sebastian's acts of cruelty the last few days. Sebastian thanked him with a small smile, and headed to Blaine's house that afternoon.<p>

Blaine's mom let him in, convinced he was one of Blaine's good old friends from Dalton. Sebastian smiled weakly at the woman, thankful that she let him in.

He tapped the door lightly, waiting for a response. It was silent for a few minutes. Sebastian bit his lip. He knew he would probably get shit for being here, but he needed to see Blaine so badly that it clouded his judgment.

"Not now, Mom." Blaine muttered weakly.

Sebastian took a deep breath, twisting the doorknob. He slowly made his way in, closing the door behind him without a sound.

"I can't even believe you have the nerve to show up here after what you did." Blaine didn't even hold back his anger. "Just imagine what would've—"

"Listen," Sebastian interrupted. "I… I wanted to say.." He paused, clearing his throat. This was the first time he's ever felt completely nervous. He sat down on the foot of Blaine's bed, unsure of how to string his words together.

"Well?" Blaine inquired. "I'm listening."

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Sebastian said angrily. "I've been laying around in my dorm for days feeling terrible about what I did." He felt his fists tighten, and quickly began to start losing his cool. "I'm a piece of shit." Sebastian said coldly. "No one cares about me." Sebastian admitted. "I don't know what it feels like to be loved." He paused, trying his best to avoid Blaine's eye contact. "And it's driving me mad because of the way I feel about you."

Blaine nodded, making eye contact with Sebastian. Letting him know that he understood. How could he genuinely seem to care after all that he'd done?

"Blaine, I'm sick." Sebastian finally admitted it. He hasn't felt this relieved in a while, finally getting everything off his chest.

"You're… sick?" Blaine asked, still a bit confused. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"It's starting to get worse, Blaine. Money can only pay for things for so long before…" Sebastian trailed off, leaving Blaine to figure things out for himself. "Look, I know I'm good at hiding things, and I don't know how much longer I can hide this for, but you're the one person that I wanted to tell." He paused, pursing his lips. Sebastian stood up from the bed, moving a bit closer to the other boy.

"Blaine, for what it's worth, I really am sorry." Sebastian felt the lump in his throat building up. Blaine reached for his hands, but Sebastian quickly pulled away. Sebastian was the one who supposed to be apologizing. Not Blaine. He hadn't done anything wrong at all.

"I have to go," He said coldly, leaving Blaine's room and shutting the door behind him.

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><p>2 MONTHS LATER<p>

Sebastian proceeded to get worse after his visit to Blaine's. He'd stopped going to school, and his trips to the hospital had become more frequent until his stay became permanent. He could feel his clock ticking away, feeling helpless every day as he watched the other patients walk up and down the hallways.

He'd gotten no visitors, well, ones that he had counted. Even his own mother, who resided in Paris, didn't even bother to call in. Sebastian was on his own, like he always was. No one he could count on but himself.

He felt his mind drift away, feeling a little hazy after today's therapy. He wanted to feel better again. He wanted something to light up for.

"Sebastian?" The nurse called. "You have a visitor."

He smiled as best he could, and slumped back down on the bed, closing his eyes. It was probably just one of his dad's assistants checking in on him, like they had always done.

"Hey.." The voice called. Sebastian didn't bother to look up. "It's Blaine."

Sebastian closed his eyes tighter. Maybe it's a dream. Blaine wouldn't come to see him. Not now after everything that happened. He shouldn't have.

"Does Kurt know you're here?" Sebastian finally muttered.

"No." said Blaine.

Sebastian shifted in his bed slowly, facing Blaine for the first time in 2 months. Blaine had managed to seem relatively calm, giving the circumstances of Sebastian's current condition. He can't even remember the last time he looked in the mirror, but he was pretty sure he had looked like shit.

"Did you tell anyone?" Sebastian managed to blurt out, avoiding Blaine's stare.

"Didn't have to. Kurt did some digging after you were a no-show at regionals." Blaine took a seat next to Sebastian. "It wasn't my place to tell them, anyway." Blaine smiled faintly.

"Wow.." Sebastian muttered. "I don't know what to say.."

"You can thank me." Blaine grinned. "I'll be here all week."

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><p>5 MONTHS LATER<p>

Just like Blaine had said, he came in to visit Sebastian all week, and every week after that. Sebastian even began to light up a little—he looked better, and sometimes admitted that he felt better.

But that wasn't always the case.

"Blaine?" Sebastian asked, lying back down comfortably on his bed.

"What is it?" Blaine smiled, and directed his attention to Sebastian.

"I love you." Sebastian closed his eyes. He hadn't been this happy in a long, long time.

"I love you too." Blaine chuckled. "Anyway, Seb, it's getting late. So, tomorrow, same time?" Blaine asked.

"Same time." Sebastian reassured him.

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><p>Blaine wasn't expecting any of this. It was a Wednesday, and he'd just gotten out of his first day back at school of his senior year to tell Sebastian about how it all went.<p>

But he wasn't in his room.

Blaine calmed himself down, telling himself that Sebastian had probably just gotten better. He was already improving the past few weeks, and he even looked a bit healthier.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Blaine sat outside Sebastian's room, waiting for someone to come by. He waited for someone to just come by and talk to him and tell him that everything was going to be fine, and that he was just out for a walk or something.

The nurse that had usually been in Sebastian's room had finally stopped by. Blaine had been there for an hour already. Sitting and waiting for something that would never come.

The nurse was kind, and very polite. She sat next to Blaine on the floor, and held his hand while she told him the news. He didn't want to believe it at first. Mostly because Sebastian had been so convincing. Blaine was so sure that he had been getting better. The nurse had filled him in on parts Sebastian was leaving out—how he really wasn't improving at all. How he was going to die anyway, and none of the treatments seemed to be helping at all.

Blaine's mind flashed back a few months ago, remembering what Sebastian had said. He was good at hiding things.

Blaine lay in his bed underneath all the covers that night. He stayed there for hours, hoping that it wasn't true. That tomorrow, he'd wake up, and it would've been just a crazy nightmare, and he'd see Sebastian's face light up every time he went in to visit him.


End file.
